The Slow Tech Road
Matthew McConaughey and his wife Camila recently made waves in the media after welcoming their 15-year-old son to social media. This, after him and his wife took the slow tech road, delaying social media for their son despite social pressures to the contrary.
Other celebrities such as Aston Kutcher, Kate Winslet and Sarah Michelle Gellar have echoed this digital parenting mindset.
“I want to keep their confidence, innocence and self-esteem in intact, even of it makes me unpopular,” commented Nicole Kidman.
This month, Screen Smarts investigated why the slow tech road is gaining traction and how you can implement this in your own digital parenting journey
WHY TAKE THE SLOW TECH ROAD?
In Jan- April 2023 an extensive research study which tested more than 27,000 young people worldwide concluded that that mental wellbeing in young adulthood (ages 18-24) improves with owning their first smartphone at an older age.
Owning a smart phone in primary school leads to lower self-worth, motivation & resilience and higher sadness, anxiety & aggression as young adults-especially in girls.
Young adults who did not have smart phones in childhood also had fewer problems with suicidal thoughts, feelings of aggression towards others and a sense of detachment from reality.
Although this is only one study, most literature on the subject concludes that increased time on smart devices compromises mental health in minors. It is this research that has led to parents to delaying platforms until children are emotionally mature enough to embark on their individual digital journeys.
AT WHAT AGE SHOULD A CHILD BE GIVEN A SMART PHONE?
7 years ago our eldest daughter turned 13 years old and we handed her a smart phone. It was loaded with social media platforms, games, and access to the web.
Back then, experts agreed that waiting until 13 would be adequate.
We quickly learnt that 13 years old is too young. Early adolescence is a time when a child is seeking identity and self-worth. They also start to take influence from their peer group and naturally veer away from that of their parents.
Introducing a global peer group in the form of social media (rife with comparison and fake perfection), does little to set the foundation of good mental health in a 13-year-old.
Today, due to the availability of extensive research, we can agree, with confidence, that Primary school children are not ready to have smart phones and that their introduction should follow the slow tech road.
HOW DOES ONE TAKE THE SLOW TECH ROAD?
Introducing technology in age-appropriate stages with continuous digital citizenship education, open conversations and monitoring allows for safe experimentation and a lower risk of addiction or mental health concerns throughout adolescence and in early adulthood.
Step 1: Use a tracking watch to stay in touch throughout their Primary school years.
If you must stay in touch with your primary school child, the best alternative to a device or smart phone is a tracking watch that can receive phone calls.
Step 2: Start with a basic phone
In Grade 8 one might introduce a basic phone or a bare-bones phone. In other words, a phone that can only send text messages, make a phone call, and play music.
One can consider step 3 once following check boxes are being ticked:
- The adolescent shows maturity in using this device over the course of 9 months to 1 year.
- There are open conversations being held in the home regarding tech use.
- The adolescent can regulate the time he/she spends on the device.
- The adolescent is receiving continuous digital citizenship education.
Step 3: Upgrade to a smart phone
At this point the child is given a smart phone with restrictions in place. These restrictions include parental control software, screen time management, application monitoring and mentoring healthy screen behaviour. Disable all social media applications and online games but allow filtered web access.
One can consider step 4 once following check boxes are being ticked:
- The adolescent uses the device maturely and has not broken the rules thus building trust.
- There are open conversations being held in the home regarding pornography, sexting, online predators, and screen addiction.
- The adolescent can regulate the time he/she spends on the device.
- The adolescent is receiving continuous digital citizenship education.
Step 4: Introduce WhatsApp
At this point WhatsApp can be introduced along with weekly monitoring.
Ensure that WhatsApp privacy settings are in place and develop a smart phone agreement.
If the agreement is breeched the phone needs to be confiscated. The terms of use need to be clear from the get-go.
One can consider step 5 once following check boxes are being ticked:
- The adolescent’s abides by the rules set out in the screen agreement.
- The adolescent’s uses WhatsApp responsibly.
- The adolescent has been educated as to their digital footprint and it’s potential impact on their future.
- There are open conversations in the home.
- The adolescent is 16 years or older.
Step 5: Introduce Social Media
At this point parents can slowly start introducing social media. When you do this, it is important to consider their influencers and ensure that they are following healthy, wholesome content.
It is imperative at this point to research the platforms they are interested in and ensure these platforms are safe before creating content.
Continue to use parental control software to monitor their conversations. It may also be worthwhile to update their screen agreement at this point to include social media platforms.
YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND
Lastly, remember as a parent you are allowed to change your mind. If you said yes to Instagram but noticed changes in temperament as a result, you are within your right to take it away and wait a little longer before introducing it again.
IT TAKES A VILLAGE
Most parents site social pressure as their main challenge when taking the slow tech road. The peer pressure of owning a smart phone to join the conversation and “belong” starts as early as Grade 3.
However, with more big voices joining the slow road chorus, we believe delaying the smart phone will soon become the norm.
Rallying school communities to take the slow tech road might be the answer to alleviate the social pressure children are under. If you would like to take this issue to your school community, we applaud you.
Afterall, no parent ever said: “Boy, I wish I gave her a smart phone sooner.”
RECOMMENDED READING:
BOOKS:
Be the Parent, Please: Stop Banning Seesaws and Start Banning Snapchat: Strategies for Solving the Real Parenting Problems
ARTICLES:
IGen: Have smart phones destroyed a generation?
Health advisory on social media use in adolescence
RECOMMENDED WATCHING:
